they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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