Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
