OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
There was a lot of him and a little penis
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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