Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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