just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
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