she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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