I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
sarcasm needs its own font
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
