She's JV to your varsity
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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