I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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