im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
