they need to just BURY HIM!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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