I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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