I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This is my gift to your gina
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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