david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
