when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
