we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
