he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
