what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
