Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
