Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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