Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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