I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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