We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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