watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize