Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
