I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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