Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize