her vagine was all disorganized.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
