Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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