I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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