you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
