On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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