I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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