Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just found puke in my bra..
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
