We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
soo... how was my night?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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