i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
