I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
