saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize