you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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