and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
