the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
