I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
only if we run a train.
done.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
