We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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