I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
