It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
