You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
