doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
