He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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