That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
