Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
