Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I FOUND THE LEGS
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
