Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
