i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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