I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
