Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
