well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
