First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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